Christine Grace and Community

Letting Go of the Wheel

I realized as I set out for Oliphant and the 9:30 yoga class that I hadn't given myself a comfortable cushion of travel time.  For a moment I felt annoyed with myself.  I had intended to set out earlier and could have easily paced myself and my morning routine in a different way.  I felt the pressure on my chest as I imagined stumbling into the session past the half hour mark and in the midst of the first rounds of "OM's".  I paused for a moment and took a deep breath.  I chose to shift the picture of my arrival and instead envisioned Elaine's smiling face and welcoming embrace as she greeted me at the entrance.  I eased up on the gas peddle and figuratively ;-) let go of the wheel. Low and behold, what I envisioned was exactly what I received as I entered the Oliphant Pavillion, just as the time reached 9:30.  A few moments later, a woman raced up the stairs chatting on breathlessly and apoligetically about how quickly cottage time passes.  I smiled to myself, grateful with having made the readjustment enroute.  I felt calm and centred and realized that I had already begun what I had come here for.

The Stepping Stone

I create an image of what I want to see, how I wish to be.

www.saublebeachyoga.com

Sounds of the Dawning of a New Day

March 21 2011

I arise in the early morn to the sounds of the dawning of a new day, awakened not by the alarm but by the calls of a bird announcing the dawn ‘cuckoo, cuckoo’  5 times – amazingly it IS 5:00 am! 

I realize as I venture out in the stillness of the morn that I arise to catch the space that precedes human awakening.  I long to hear natural sounds of birds calling, wind blowing and the waves lapping along the shoreline.  As I make my way along the beach, I notice how others have perhaps unintentionally distanced themselves from the sounds of what naturally is.  Earphones are connected to an ipod, a phone screen is being scanned, photographs are being taken in efforts to capture the moment and companions are chatting.  The images cause me to appreciate the meaning of being ‘unplugged’ and to realize how integral to my well being that cushioning myself from the cacophony of human existence truly is.

As I arrive at my destination, the human sounds are increasing with steady intensity.  Music has been turned on, dishes are clattering, beach shoes are flip flopping, rakes are scraping, doors are opening and closing, carts are wheeling across the floors and voices are calling. 

I will arise again tomorrow, even a little earlier than today, so that I can begin my "day" listening to the sounds of the dawn of a new day.  In so doing I will create the space which will invite me to tune in and hear the sounds of my self.

Honouring the Pace of the Turtle

March 14 2011

I was pleasantly surprised when venturing to pick up my pace from a brisk walk to a shuffle - meaning less than a slow jog ;-) – that my body was up for it … after all these years.  A handful of others joined me in the early morning light, including a young woman who with ease sprinted past me.  I continued my slow and steady pace and after awhile I passed the now seemingly winded jogger.  This happened a couple of more times until eventually the young woman veered off and I was left to complete the length of the beach on my own…moving at my own slow and steady pace.

The image of the turtle reappeared to me in a number of ways later that day.  Samantha chose a pair of mother/daughter ceramic turtles to colourfully paint.  She was described by another mother as our daughters stood before us as " … contemplative rather than impulsive …. You will both arrive at a decision.  You will both make a good decision but the path that you will take to arrive at your decision will be different."   "How many turtles can you see and count?" was the question posed to my young companion as together we flipped through her activity book.

Today I honour the turtle and the pace through which I move though life.  I am willing to let go of relationships that are out of sync with my energy and life pace.  I am willing to assert my need for space and solitude during times when I choose to retreat inward.  I honour the pace of the turtle.  As I take steps to honour myself, I so honour others – the hares, hummingbirds, doves … in my life :-).

Lines in the Sand

March 7 2011

‘I like to rise when the sun she rises, early in the morning,

And I like to (see) the small birds (playing) merrily upon the (golden sands).’

Original version of the song introduced to me by Leah Solomaa  www.girlfishmusic.com 

The sands beneath me are the colour and texture of golden brown sugar.   My feet are warm and bare…different than the snow boot alternating with rain boot covering of just a few days ago.  Accompanying me on my walk are scurrying sandpipers, leaving delicate impressions in their wake…so different from the powerful paw print impressions that my beloved Maggie leaves behind her.

I notice other impressions in the sand as I walk the beautiful beach of the Maya Riviera.  A few other footprints of course and the row upon row upon row of lines in the sand left by the workers’ rakes as they ready the beach for the dawn of a new day of play.  Ropes in the sand mark the boundaries between one resort and another and as I make my first efforts to pick up the pace and move at a shuffle :-) rather than walk, beach angels step down on the elevated ropes and support me in transitioning from one area to another with ease.  Upon release of the ropes they too leave lines in the sand.

I am reminded of a recent conversation where I reflected on how I have now created lines within my life – space between one aspect of my life and another (My home office door closes mid afternoon on Fridays and reopens Monday mornings at mid morning.)  Intentional lines of self respect that I have established between myself and people in my life.  The powerful question posed to me some years ago was…’What is your limit Christine? What is your line in the sand?’ as increasingly I became aware of the painful impact that a toxic relationship was having on my life and my soul.  My limit?  In that moment I realized that I did not have a limit, that what I was tolerating was seemingly endless.  In that moment I realized that I could set a limit and that is was crucial to my life and well being that I do so.  And so I did.  Although at times I still shuffle as I figure out how to set a limit with love and grace, I now draw lines in the sand with much greater ease than I did once upon a time.

What Lies Beneath

February 10^th

The storm of the winter of 2011 is approaching.  The radio and television broadcasts are full of warnings of the wild winter weather coming our way.  School and work closings are anticipated.  The grocery stores are busy as people stock up. 

Maggie and I still venture down to the beach for our morning walk and wander.  The sun has disappeared behind grey clouds and the wind is beginning to pick up.  It is Lake Ontario that captivates me though.  The waters are dark and foreboding.  It is as though there is a school of blue whales playing roll over just beneath the surface.  I do my best to keep Maggie from the water’s edge and before long we are heading home to hunker down by the tea and the fire. 

While I heard the wind howl at times through the night, when I opened my curtains the next morning to see what mother nature had left for us, my first reaction was ‘It that it!?’  Again Toronto seemed to have missed the worst of this season’s winter weather.  I had a much different reaction though when later that day Maggie and I returned to the beach. 

I stood jaw dropped in breathtaking amazement.  It was as though the school of blue whales that lay hidden beneath the surface yesterday had fully released their gigantic powerful bodies and the magnificent waves that they created in their wake had in turn become frozen mountains of ice and snow.  The snow mountains were like magnets as people ventured to the base of them, some clambering up them to see what life looked like on the other side.  The snow mountains also served to protect and guard us from the worst of the winter weather.  Amazing the power that lies beneath – amazing the power that lies within. Amazing the impact when we release our power and our creative energies into the world. The power to build mountains - the power to move mountains.

 

Building Community

February 4^th

After completing a number of errands, I wandered along Queen Street East, the main street of our community on my way to Dufflets, my favourite local destination for tea.  (Dale and the team at Dufflets know my tea order off by heart now! orange pekoe with two pots of water and lots of milk!  I am a part of the Dufflets community.)

I have been contemplating a move.  As my daughter is nearing the transition between elementary school to high school the opportunity for a change in residence is presenting itself.  ‘…the main street of our community…’  As I wandered, I had been greeted by the local and familiar shop keepers and service providers as I went from place to place. I had waved through the window at Brown Owl (Samantha’s former Guide and Brownie Leader) as I walked past the shop that she manages.  I had pause to say hello and have a chat with members of the Avalon (Children’s Montessori School) community as we passed one another… 

Community…I have been warmly welcomed back into the fold of my Scottish Country Dancing group as I don my dancing shoes to help the younger dancers take their first steps and following join the adults as they jig, reel and strathspey across the dance floor…   I am connecting with familiar and new faces as more often now I join the monthly WEBB (Women Entrepreneurs Building Businesses) gatherings at the Pie Shack (another favourite spot for tea!)…  I am one of the ‘regulars’ in the lunch time fitness classes… I have community…I have communities. 

I am strengthening my community(s) and I’m contemplating creating a new community(s).   I know that essential to me is community.  What I realized is that community is all around me.  With each step out the door, each step I take as I walk along the sidewalk, each dance step …whenever I initiative a wave, offer a smile, exchange a word…I have the opportunity to build community and as I do so, my community it there to greet me…to warmly welcome me home.

Stretching

January 31^st. 2011

 I have been gradually increasing the amount of weight I have been lifting in body sculpting classes and now I am feeling it!  While the muscles are certainly growing stronger and the body looking more sculpted ;-) than a few months ago, my shoulder and neck muscles have become tight and are taking longer to release in between classes. 

I decided to give myself the gift of a massage.  Sydney’s advice was to take more time to stretch … and I am now feeling the benefit of doing so. 

Stretching … hmmm.  As well as physically, I have been stretching in many other ways of late.  I've been intentionally stepping into places and situations that I have either never gone before or haven’t stepped into for some time – going solo to an introductory dance gathering, attending a high energy networking event, sitting down at a restaurant table with new company, and sampling food from an African culture new to me (Ethiopian food is delicious by the way!). 

How do I know when I am stretching? When I feel excitement mixed with a wee bit of apprehension.  When part of me wants to venture out and try something new and the other part of me wants to retreat to the comfort of home.  At times I turn to another for support and encouragement when I feel my confidence wavering.  ‘Give me a pep talk, please!’ I ask.  ‘Oh Mummy just go!  If you don’t, you’ll be dancing around the house and I’d much rather you dance somewhere else.’  When I heeded my daughter’s advice and stepped out to dance, I felt a sense of freedom and joy that came from sharing the love of dance. 

Take the time to stretch and discover what I mean :-)

How have you stretched lately?

Just Right

January 28^th, 2011

I was charged with the task of organizing a Ladies Night for my daughter’s school.  We were seeking a venue and I was coming up dry.  We could have the upstairs of a local establishment for a hefty fee. We also considered meeting at the school space. But neither option felt right and I was reluctant to push ahead with the plans. 

When I had the opportunity to share what I had come up with so far with another school Mum, we sat back, talked it through, tossed it around and an idea emerged - a setting that would be ‘just right’.  The space was quickly confirmed and all of the other arrangements easily and beautifully fell into place because the space was just right :-) 

It reminded me of my travels through Scotland during my year long stay there.  I would arrive in a village or town reservation free.  My first destination was the local tourist information centre seeking a place to stay – a bed and breakfast - one that was ‘just right’.  Once I'd found a spot to rest my head and bags my next destination was the perfect spot for lunch and tea. 

I would explore the village by wandering down side streets and through closes and passageways, pausing at doorways, peeking in the windows until I found the perfect spot … one that was just right.  Always worth the wait :-)

Circles in the Snow

January 24^th, 2011

In spite of the reminders of the -25°C with wind chill weather reports, I responded to Maggie’s beckoning and we ventured to the lake this morning.  The sky was breathtakingly beautiful with swirling clouds in hues of gray.  I paused for a moment to take in the magnificence as the shafts of prismed light found an opening and shone on waves.  Maggie was in her element as she fetched her tossed ball. 

But when I was ready to head home for my morning cuppa (with toasted English muffin and peanut butter!) and get a start on my work day - she was not.  Instead she playfully created perfect paw print circles in the snow … as she ran circles around me :-) - “Catch me if you can!” she seemed to say. 

What was the deeper message? Stay a little longer, play a little longer, let go of the ‘I ought to get into my home office and tackle my to do list now’ pressure I was beginning to feel …  So I did – we lingered a little longer. 

And now as I sit down at my desk with Maggie warming my feet, I am feeling that bit more energized and welcoming of the work day ahead than I otherwise would have been if Maggie had not created circles in the snow. 

Give yourself permission to linger a little longer...breathe and little deeper. 

Peer Circles

January 18^th, 2011

Her e-mail message ended with – “Oh – and happy first Training-iversary!” as she reminded me of it being one year ago today that we met.  The occasion was the launch of the Ontario Peer Development Initiative Core Essentials™ Training Program – a gathering of twenty-eight participants from across the province of Ontario open and eager to support the realization of the vision – “A paid Peer Supporter on every mental health team in the province.”  She sent Happy Training-iversary greetings to her training peers and within moments the acknowledgements and best wishes back came flooding in…’good memories’…’good friends’…’missing you all!’. 

I was reminded of how quickly the group of twenty-eight individuals became connected and close - a circle of peers.  Reminded of the importance of creating opportunities within learning forums for the building connections and the sharing of wisdom.  ‘Will there be cake?’ one message playfully posed. 

Again the memory of the conclusion of those magical eight days where we acknowledged the contribution of each participant with the gifting of an Inukshuk and celebrated over scrumptious Dufflet cakes…and tea of course! 

Yes indeed – Happy Training-iversay to all!